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It is not easy to de-escalate a conversation with a client, especially as a customer service rep. The last thing you want us to say is that itโs easy. Sometimes you just want to throw your computer out the window and walk out. But you donโt.
Weโre here to tell you the best tried and tested techniques for de-escalations in customer service. We reviewed our training materials, scoured the internet for the best info, and listened in on a few escalated calls to see what works and what doesnโt.
Lastly, we did away with all those overly-general pieces of advice like โbe kind.โ If only it were that easy! Everyone wants to be kind, internet, thatโs a non-solution. Theย REALย solution is:
1. Maintain a Commanding Composure during De-Esclation
When it gets tough during De-Escalation, remember you are the one in control. Do not, for any second, think the customer has the upper hand. Even if the situation youโre presented with says the customer is right, that doesnโt have to put you at a disadvantage over them.
Take advantage of it and empathize! Genuine human connection is a good way to command a situation and de-escalate it.
Step 1.ย Donโt patronize them
Take notice of their concerns and relate to them. Itโs not always easy to put yourself in their situation, but you always have to try. While you do this, say comforting things that tend to be seen as genuine: โoh goshโ, โthat sounds horribleโ, โI can totally understand why you decided to callโ, โyouโre right to want to get in touch with management.โ
There are loads of things you can say along the same lines. Make your own list with what feels natural to you and use it! In this aspect , active listening is essential.
Indeed, Active listening is a method that helps your agents guarantee that the client feels heard and that you are prepared to assist them with their problem.ย Repeating their facts and asking if you understood them correctly can give them time to calm down and confidence that you are truly listening to and empathizing with their predicament.
Step 2.ย Interact in a human way
Next up is possibly the hardest part and probably the one that gets skipped the most. Try as much as possible to be human.
Now, a lot of you think being human means giving in to the customerโs requests. However, I find the most powerful way of expressing human connection is relating to real-world events. Butย how do you connect with people just by using voice?
Is it Christmas and they have an order thatโs not going to make it on time? Say โoh no, right on Christmas! Iโm so sorry. Really not a good time for this to happen.โ
These statements donโt do anything to solve the actual problem, but it will help de-escalate any situation and enable a calm conversation about solving the problem.
Other things you can relate to: all of the holidays, regional holidays or celebrations (see where theyโre calling from), birthdays or anniversaries, personal life events (careful here!). Try to leverage any piece of information you have to your advantage.
Important:ย make sure your voice connection is clear. A lot of call centers have poor carrier service. You can change that withย our carrier network designed for call centers.
Step 3.ย Offer something for free as quickly as you can
You might already know this, but customers get bored so easily. Even when youโre only trying to be nice or use one of the tips above and then, all of a sudden, theyโre talking over you.
Stop. Refocus. Make a simple offer.
Depending on what youโre doing customer service for, you may have a range of free things you can offer to de-escalate a situation. Iโve personally been on the other end of this technique and Iโve always felt a tiny bit special when being offered something for free. Even if itโs really small and more of a gesture โ it shows you care!
And donโt assume people donโt know youโre doing that to calm them down. Thatโs patronizing โ they know very well what youโre trying to do, but theyโll still accept it most times because hey โ free stuff!
If youโre in a position where you can give them free sweets, do it!ย Itโs an inexpensive de-escalation technique with a very high success rate.
2. Try to Present the Situation from Your Point of View
A lot of customer service representatives underestimate their customers. Just because someone is complaining (often very loudly), it doesnโt mean theyโre not capable of understanding the situation youโre in โ thatโs the first step toย bad customer service.
Oftentimes, presenting your point of view will be the only de-escalation technique that works for a specific customer.
Step 1.ย Present your situation regarding their call
First off, the customer needs to understand why youโre there. It might be that theyโre trying to reach a supervisor or even the president of the company. No matter what you try, they wonโt accept anything less than a chat with the big boss.
At that point, the best thing you can do is tell them you have the authority to handle their call and offer a solution to their problem. Ask the customer to let you do your job. If theyโre using bad language, tell them itโs impossible for you to satisfy their request unless they refrain from using those words.
Do not, under any circumstances, ask a customer to calm down directly. There are many other, more polite ways to say the same thing.
Step 2.ย Then ask what theyโd want so you can sort this out
This is a high point in the conversation โ making clear that youโre there to solve it, not just to calm them down.
Lots of contact centers only give customer support limited authority to solve problems, so plenty of customers think theyโre better off skipping you and going directly to your manager or CEO.
By asking what they want and trying to offer them a solution, you prove yourself useful in their specific situation. Talk to your boss if you donโt have the authority, because thatโs a very bad (and unfortunately still common) practice forย how managers coordinate call centers efficiently.
3. Remember Theyโre your Contact Center Customers, Even If Theyโre Wrong
This part is tricky because customers are often wrong. But theย basics of customer appreciationsay you should still do your best.
Maybe someoneโs calling on January 7thย because they didnโt get a discount offer that ran for Christmas. Obviously, you canโt give them the Christmas offer. What do you do in this situation?
Step 1.ย If they ask for something outrageous, come with a counteroffer
Reiterate the request to the customer, make sure they understand theyโre requesting something that doesnโt make sense, butย donโt say it outright. Make them understand on their own that their request is outrageous.
Once you come back to the facts, the customer may back down in their request. At that point, the de-escalation may already be successful. If not, you can probably solve it by offering something less than their initial request.
Step 2.ย Make it sound like youโre doing them a favor
An extra step you can take in order to make customers feel special is to present the de-escalation solution as a favor. Instead of โIโm authorized to do this for youโ, try โwell since youโve been with us for a while, I can certainly make an exception for you this time.โ
Be very subtle in your approach and remember todayโs exceptions become tomorrowโs expectations.
Update 2021:ย If you believe you may encounter a difficult client interaction in your position at some point, it is best to prepare for such situations ahead of time by scripting your answer.ย You can practice responding to various client problems, such as products issues, hidden costs, poor quality of services, and so on, by scripting your answers.
The Best De-escalation Technique Is What Feels Right to You
You could try all these methods of De-escalation on their ownย ORย go for a mix-and-match approach to this article. Whichever way you pick, probably the most important part you need to remember is that everyone has their own approach.
You donโt need me to tell you soft skills come naturally. Some people just have what it takes. But that does not mean you canโt learn. Get your head in the game and try out one of the tips and tricks above.
And let us know what works for you!
Andrei is an experienced marketing professional specializing in propelling growth for both B2B and B2C companies. Proficient in streamlining marketing operations and enhancing lead and customer experiences through SEO and marketing techniques.
